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Do you struggle in conflict? Do you get overwhelmed by spats? Are you passive aggressive or just plain aggressive when things get a little hectic in your relationships? In this episode, we're talking all things conflict and how we as Believers can handle conflict more effectively.

Damesha discusses:

-Why people run away from conflict or seem to run towards it

-The necessity of seeing and handling conflict through a spiritual lens rather than through the worldly/fleshly lens.

-The importance of facilitating a space for people to grow and evolve.

- Conflict can occur when the growth and change in others becomes inconvenient to us. “You acting different” "You wishy washy” This is why communication frequently is necessary.

“We have to give the people in our life room to grow and evolve. We have to normalize change and growth in people and not tie them to complacency through our own standards.”

-My formula for handling conflict and effective communication with hard topics

• You have the communicator and the receiver

  • Communicator – leading in the conversation

    • Your goal is to convey a message and get the other person to understand this

    • Has the responsibility of ensuring that their message is received by the other person

    • “I” speech – “When ___ occurred, I felt ____”

  • Receiver - the person you are conversing with

    • Your goal is to receive :)

    • Has the responsibility to listen and ensure that you are not abandoning your duty to receive.

    • Because you are not talking, does not mean that you don’t carry equal responsibility in effective communication.

• Both parties are responsible for effective communication but sometimes we know that won't always work. It may get heated, a person may be too distracted mentally or emotionally to continue on in the conversation, the conversation hits a wall etc. What should we do then?

• Communicator can do two things:

  • If you are in the position to continue the conversation- Rework your stance to make it palpable to your receiver (Ex: Let me rephrase my statement to ensure you understand me)

  • If you find that you are not in the position to continue the conversation - Table the conversation for another day when you are in a better position to tackle the components laid out.

• Receiver can do two things:

  • If you are in the position to continue the conversation- see if there are things on your end that you need to get a handle on to better focus – do a self evaluation

  • Maybe you’ve been fixated on one part of the conversation, a bad comment that stuck out, ask for them to clarify what they meant by that and work through that component

  • If you’re not in the position to continue the conversation, you too have the right to say that we need to table this conversation.

"If you need to table a conversation, you are not a failed communicator, you are a responsible communicator."

- We can no longer shy away from hard conversations. Whether that’s with a friend, a family member, a coworker, etc.

We have to lean in and ask for the Holy Spirit to guide us.

*Scripture References*

• Matthew 18:15

• Ephesians 4:29

• Ephesians 4:31-32

• 1 John 4:20