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In this day and age, dating has been said to be one of the most trying and taxing experiences for both men and women. Complicated has been the most prevalent word used when referring to one's dating life. But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if you were blocking yourself from love? What if you were making your love life more complicated than what it was designed to be? I know right?!

Damesha and Kat Harris, of The Refined Collective, discuss how Kat keeps her faith strong as a single woman in her 30s who is choosing to wait to have sex until marriage, problematic aspects of the Christian dating culture, and her advice to a single Christian woman longing for a relationship.

Being single and choosing celibacy in your 30s

• "Giving myself permission to doubt is what keeps my faith strong"

• Choosing honesty about your experience and your feelings create an intimacy between God. This deepens the relationship between the two.

• "the Bible is full of really human humans"

• Let your cry be "help me in my unbelief"

Things that are plaguing the Christian dating culture

• There seems to be a hyper-spiritualization of dating stemming from the church.

• "Dating is a CURB, not a CLIFF."

• It's time to take the pressure off of the dating culture. Dating is supposed to be a fun experience, not pressure-filled.

• There also seems to be this intense desire for women wanting men to lead them. Women have become passive in their own love lives.

• What if women say they want to be led because it's easier than putting themselves out there?

"What an honor that I get to hang out with another person that God really loves"

Advice to single women longing for partnership

• You are seen.

• It's totally okay and acceptable for you to be excited about your relationship with God and also experience longing. It's a "both/and" concept.

• "If you don't heal your past, it will haunt you and prevent you from your future."

• Take ownership in showing up for the process of preparation.

• Your purpose doesn't hinge upon your relationship status. You have purpose right now.

Special Resources

• Check out Kat's website at therefinedwoman.com and on IG at @therefinedwoman

• Keep up with The Refined Collective podcast here and on IG at @therefinedcollective

• Kat's book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex, is available for pre-order! Grab your copy here

• Check out the devotional, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, Kat mentioned here