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T/W - sexual trauma, sexual abuse*

*cues "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-N-Pepa* Yep, if you haven't already guessed, we're talking about sex in this episode. Damesha and guest Taylor McElwain, of the Prayer Wall Podcast, journey through the complex components of our unique sexual experiences being sexual trauma survivors.

Damesha and Taylor discuss:

Testimonies of sexual abuse

- Difference between sexual sin and sexual desire

The discussion of sex in the church

- Purity Culture

• Purity culture can be defined as "the compilation of social constructs regarding purity and the actions enforced by the Church to ensure a woman is sexually abstinent prior to marriage" - Damesha Wells

• Purity is what we're called to biblically but the culture around the concept can be damaging.

Is masturbation a sin?

- For many of us, our first introduction to masturbation could have been when it was used a trauma response.

- Our innocence was robbed and we had to fight to feel okay at such a young age.

• The act of self-soothing, in whatever manner we see fit, becomes our way of coping with the trauma that has occurred to us.

• Self soothe means to “comfort oneself when unhappy or distressed”

- If your trauma response wasn't seen through hyper sexual behavior (Ex: pornography addictions, compulsive masturbation, and excessive lust.) it could have been seen in other areas of your life, completely unrelated to sexual behavior (Ex: aggression, withdrawal, immense sadness).

- “Don’t treat the symptoms and neglect the cause of the sickness.”

• On shows like My 600lb life, for example, all of the people on the show have to start therapy. Engaging in weight loss actions are fine, but until they determine the root of their behavior they are doing themselves a disservice and have greater chance of returning to unhealthy coping habits through food.

Is there a place to embrace your sexuality while living a life pleasing to Jesus and practicing celibacy?

- This seems like such a far-fetched and foreign concept because of how sex is discussed and depicted in our Christian culture

• Through seeking God, it's vital that you don't base your purity walk off of that of someone else's. Seek the Holy Spirit and allow Him to guide you.

*Scripture References*

1. 1 Corinthians 10:31

2. 1 Corinthians 6:19

3. Psalm 139:14

*Special Resources*

• Check out the episode, from Taylor's podcast, that I was featured on here.

• Check out Part One and Part Two of the series we discussed on masturbation from Kat Harris' podcast The Refined Collective.

• Keep up with Taylor on instagram here and The Prayer Wall Podcast here.