Setting Boundaries as a believer
Boundaries. The one thing that we know we need to implement but seem so difficult to construct in our relationships. We actually believe that many aren’t knowledagble on the intricacies of boundaries or maybe they just suck at implementing boundaries, so they resort to blocking people or the dreaded “cancel culture”. Now these tactics can be extremely tempting to fall into, considering the fact that we’re human but truly think sis, is Jesus pleased? Would Jesus block people and fall victim to perpetuating cancel culture? Probably not. So as His children, we have to remember that we are to be His relfection in all that we do. We, as believers, cant participate in the ways of this world and expect our God to bless us the same.
So how do believers set boundaries?
First, seek the Spirit.
Are boundaries even necessary for your situation? I’m sure the argument can be made that boundaries are necessary for every relationship, but sometimes we have to check ourselves first before trying to place blame on other people. For example, your best friend gave you constructive criticism on a new business idea that you presented to them. You didn’t like what they said and now you’re infuriated. “See this is why I don’t tell people my ideas! I’m about to put up boundaries because I can’t.” Sound familiar? In some cases, we just need to seek the Lord on how to manuever through our relationships. And let’s be frank, the Lord may indeed instruct you to implement boundaries with that friend, family member, or a coworker but its better to always seek guidance from the Lord first before making any decision, especially regarding our relationships.
Secondly, change your mentality.
One thing that seems to be hindering the body of Christ more than ever is this notion that we don’t have to accept other children of God. It seems that this notion of cancelling them as truly been adopted as a suitable practice. But what if we took a step back and reshaped our mentality. As we are all God’s children, we are to look towards other believers as brothers and sisters in Christ. We accept the mentality that we are joined together through Christ, our desire to cancel a brother or sister, should disappear. Out of all the scandal and exposure seen in 2020, we are well aware of the fact that those in the body of Christ make mistakes. They are fleshly beings that need God just like we do. We don’t have the authority to cancel them from receiving the love of God.
Lastly, make love your mission
When we seek to love God and love His people unconditionally, boundaries will be constructed. If your’e struggling in a friendship and you feel that you’re being drained, take it to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him specifically, “Lord help me to love this person better” or “Lord help me see them how You see them.” If we say that we love God, then that love needs to be reflected in how we love His people. Sometimes that love may look like taking time away from the exhausting conversations to pray for them more. You never know what God is doing in a relationship in your life, so it’s crucial that we look to Him. As long as we are being obedient and abiding in Him, he will handle the intriciacies of our relationships. Trust in Him and love His people.