Online dating, and the dating pool in general, can be quite a scary place. So much so that, many people decide to stay away from dating apps in general. Hard pass. So we were shocked to hear that when we spoke with a Girl Talk sister (we’ll call her Ashley here), she said her opinion on dating, and online dating specifically, had changed after chatting with her therapist. We got the chance to interview her and this is what she had to say.

What changed for you? What made you decide to take to online dating?

I haven’t dated since high school. So when I got to the point where I wanted to give it a try, I found that I was against online dating. I think that there were multiple factors included on why - fear, insecurity, perception of it, etc. After some time, my mom encouraged me to try it but it was really my therapist that convinced me.She challenged me on if I was really open to dating as much as I said I was. She challenged my fears. ultimately, she encouraged me to open myself up to what could be a really positive experience.

What were some of the complexities you found while using the dating sites?

One issue I ran into was that I had to continue to use discernment. I had to keep reminding myself to stay aware of what’s a good fit for me. I also had to be dillengent in staying confident. Dating apps, once you get into them, can be kinda enticing. But I had to remind myself that “if this guy doesn’t work for you, you’re still going to be okay.” One of the last things I found to be frustrating were the lies of the men on there. I found that what people put out there can be so deceiving.

What about some of the positive aspects you experienced on the dating apps?

Surprisingly, I found there to be many positives. One positive aspect that I found is that it gave me a safety net. I found that you can spend time messaging them and explore the comfort level rather than being face to face. This allowed me to set good boundaries for the sites but also dating in general.

What advice would you give someone who is struggling with the idea of dating apps?

Before getting on the dating apps, I would encourage someone to do personal processing and evaluation of their dealbreakers and things you can compromise on. We don’t want to set ourself up with these unrealistic expectations. It’s important that we’re able to communicate through that or discern what God is trying to teach us through that. I found this to be especially necessary on Christian apps. So for things like denominations and where the person may be in their journey, it was crucial to know where I stood.

So what’s your stance on dating apps? Have you tried them before? Are you open to trying them? Let us know in the comments!

“I was against online dating…until i went to therapy”

Should Christians be on dating apps?